Here’s why you should practice the golden rule when selling

Do unto customers as you would have them do unto you

“You are so gullible. You have paid money to read something I wrote for free; would you give me a laptop for free if I asked of it from your electronics shop? No, you wouldn’t; yet here you are paying for a product that was not sold! How foolish!

What’s that you said? I didn’t hear you. Oh! I’m being rude? You think so? Well, you are the one who chose to read this article so, hhmph!-shauri yako! (Your loss). By the way, you can quit reading if you want to, eh!; I’m published anyway; why should I care whether you read me or not; shauri yako!

Your loss

What am I driving at, you wonder? Well, wait until I tell you! Sit still and wait like everyone else; just as I did at your exhibition stand while you excitedly, overtly and quite audibly, chatted about your weekend escapades. You did not notice when my disappointment drove me to the next stand. Or maybe you did, and chose not to interrupt more important ‘business’ matters like the superbly shining neon lights of the disco hall you had been to. I learnt from the best-you; so wait! You can quit reading too, though-good riddance! That’s one less person to criticize my writing. If you still haven’t figured out what I’m on about, you are so s-l-o-w!

You think I’m offensive. Ha! That’s your problem. Not mine. I’m the one who has the knowledge you need; I’m the author, not you; I’m the one in charge here, so you better toe the line. That’s how things are done here! I write, you read. I sell, you buy. I say jump, you ask how high?

Change? Tough luck

You mean you are still reading this? You must be pitifully idle. Or maybe you are hoping I will change? Ha! I wish you luck. Why should I change? What you wanted was an article to read and you have one, so quit complaining and read it! When I ordered for a meal and it came cold, I did not bother you to warm it, did I? No; I was too weak from hunger to complain and so I ate it cold. In any case, as I overheard you tell your colleague that if I’d wanted a warm meal I’d have eaten at home!

And by the way, not only was it cold, it arrived an hour late and wasn’t even my order. You should be thankful that this article you are reading has arrived on time, and is what you want! Otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading it, now would you? In fact, next time I will conspire to have this paper delayed, so that you queue like I did with twenty three (I counted) other account holders at your bank while you fidgeted with your phone, possibly updating your Facebook status. I imagine the post read #Theidlersarehere.

Complain all you want

Before I forget, your name sounds familiar. Yes, I remember. You commented about one of my earlier articles. Can’t remember what you said though. Doesn’t matter; just read this-it’s the way I write and the way you get information as one of my many customers; so even if you quit reading many others won’t. And even if they do, remember you are the one that paid for the paper, not me.

Incidentally, the only reason why I’ve kept you engaged this long is in the hope that my boss (the Editor) notices and stops his constant nagging about engaging our clients, as we should our parents-that is, with the respect they deserve. That, plus also, I’m running out of space, and like you, I have struggled to keep pretending to be busy so that time for closing shop reaches and I rid myself of these bothersome clients waiting in line. As I said, I learnt from the best. I learnt from you!

I’m sure you reckon you should ditch this article now, right?”


If you would like to have your sales team sell more, we can help. In order for us to do so we propose a free consultation meeting or a call. If in agreement please complete the form below and we will get in touch after receiving your details, none of which will be public. Thank you.

Views – 343

About Author

Related posts

How to sell in a crisis: a step-by-step guide. The case of Airbnb.

What if your product was mired in a scandal like Airbnb is right now? What would you do? Would you roll with the punches or throw in the towel? Would you rise to the challenge or, like an errant seller, sink to resignation, blaming the product and employer? “Na niliwaambia tu.” (I told them but

Read More

Is it the economy that needs fixing? Or, is it just you? Let’s find out.

“It’s not me, it’s the economy,” so you say. And, to justify your many misses and rare hits those in your corner energize you’re position: “It’s not you; it’s the prospects that don’t have money. The problem is the economy; this economy needs fixing by the government.”  Maybe. Maybe not; maybe it’s not the economy,

Read More

Unlock value from sales tips and techniques as guides not crutches

“It didn’t work when I tried it.” Of course, it didn’t. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t work or it’s bad. It just means it didn’t work for you. Sales people that use sales tips and techniques as crutches unwittingly reveal that they are handicapped. They are handicapped because they want, no, need, to externalise the

Read More
Stay ahead in a rapidly changing world with Lend Me Your Ears. It’s Free! Most sales newsletters offer tips on “What” to do. But, rarely do they provide insight on exactly “How” to do it. Without the “How” newsletters are a waste of time.