If you are not connecting with the buyer, chances are that sale is going nowhere. Just like, until you connect with the gal you are interested in, that ‘sale’ is a non-starter. “Create rapport with the buyer,” you’ve often been told. The problem is, most sellers think of this as a one-off activity to be dispensed with ab initio, if I may speak legalese. That is, at the beginning. Nothing could be farther from the truth. If you are not, to use Gen Z parlance, vibing with the buyer, across the engagement with him, the odds are against you that you will get the sale. So, what does connecting with the customer mean, why is it important, and how do you trigger it? Let’s find out.
The human need for connection
Human beings are gregarious creatures, so my Philosophy lecturer continually reminded us. Meaning, we are a sociable species. We yearn for connection. The profoundness of this is captured in studies of societies that have a way above average mortality rate These are communities in which it is common to find several 100+ year olds bounding up hills with the energy of teenagers. The different studies have repeatedly returned a unanimous resounding verdict. Yes, what they eat and drink matters, but by far the number one reason why they live much longer, healthier and fuller lives is because of their communality. Indeed, continual connection is a biological need.
It’s no different in selling. The buyer and you are first human beings, then professionals second. So go ahead and create rapport ab initio. But don’t stop there. Dropping off the connection before reciprocation doesn’t cut it. You may have warmed her up but not enough to keep her motor running. So, keep the connection going throughout the engagement. Somewhere in your engagement the buyer will reciprocate. She can’t help herself. She is human. At this point you have broken the ice and have started vibing. This is what a quality customer engagement is all about.
Connecting with the customer: more than small talk
What does it mean to make a connection with a customer? There are different ways of breaking the ice, beyond the ritualistic greetings and small talk. How you open the sale is one. Make it about the buyer. This instantly shows you’ve done your homework. The customer feels valued and quite likely responds in enthusiastic fashion. “Congratulations on your Best in Customer Service Award, Aisha. And you’ve won it for two years running, no less. Impressive! What’s the secret?” It’s an open-ended question. She cannot give a yes or no response. She must elaborate. And, of course, she wants to. Wouldn’t you? And when she does, genuinely listen. Ask questions, seek clarity, show interest.
Do not be surprised that she is so enthused she ends with, “You know, we had your competitor here and they didn’t even mention the Award. They just wanted to sell.” Or, after emptying her excitement ends with, “So what about you? How are you? What’s happening at Lend Me Your Ears that is of interest.” She has shifted the conversation to you, showing she’s now open and engaged. The ice is broken and the vibing has begun. You are connecting with the customer. But remember you are there to sell. So, in your response, briefly mention what’s relevant to the sale and steer the conversation back to Aisha and, if it’s a B2B sale, her company.
The power of using their name
Another way is to use the customers name when addressing her. Nothing is sweeter to a human being than the sound of their name. And especially when pronounced correctly and when you use the preferred one. So, if they prefer Kageche to John, respect their choice and use Kageche. If you do not know how to pronounce or spell it, ask. This shows empathy. And then use their name naturally throughout the conversation. So instead of a generic “Madam this” or “Sir that” try this “What do you think if we tried this, Aisha? Would it work?”
This simple gesture personalizes the conversation. Not only have you connected with her by using her name, you have also involved her in the sale, further demonstrating empathy. You are now working together to finding a solution to her pain. You are not dictating it. You are a doctor intently listening to a patient and guiding the engagement to a prescription. Now, you are connecting with the customer.
Matching their energy and language
Matching the customer energy levels and using her lingua is yet another way of keeping the vibe going. By aligning with their communication style, you make the conversation easier and more enjoyable for the buyer. Her: “So the monthly payment is will be ten thousand shillings. Did I get that right?” You (selling life insurance): “Yes, the premium is ten thousand shillings.” She looks lost. She did not understand your jargon. This creates unnecessary friction. You risk disconnecting from her.
Try this instead – mirror her language. “Yes, you are right. The monthly payment is will be ten thousand shillings.” The connection is complete. And you have not become less intelligent because you did not use the technical term, ‘premium’. This particular challenge is suffered by technical sales people who struggle to understand that stupidity takes you places in selling. Technical salespeople, can benefit from remembering that simplicity and relatability can go a long way in building trust, and therefore, connection. (If you are still stuck at my use of life insurance and not assurance, you are a technical person and struggling, connecting with the customer)
Keeping in touch even when the close isn’t immediate
Keeping the lines of communication open when the close does not happen immediately, is another opportunity to reinforce rapport. Her: “I like the car, but I need some time to think about it.” You: “I completely understand (Acknowledgement). It’s a big decision, and you should feel comfortable before moving forward.” (Empathy): “Many of our customers take time to consider everything before making a final decision.” Then, clarify: “Is there anything specific you’d like more information about, or is there a concern I can help address?” She tells you. You then offer a solution: “How about this? I’ll send you some additional details to review at your own pace, and when you’re ready, we can discuss any further questions or concerns. If that’s OK, I can check again with you next week? Sounds like a plan?”
This thoughtful approach reassures the buyer that you’re not only interested in the sale but also in their comfort and satisfaction. Offering to follow up, lets the buyer know you’re invested in their decision-making process, without pushing.
Vibing with the buyer: connecting with the customer is more than just a step
If you are not connecting with the customer, chances are that sale is going nowhere. Building rapport isn’t a one-off task; it’s an ongoing conversation that keeps the door open for a successful sale.
So, are you ready to start vibing with your buyer?
Read: Don’t sell. Help customers make purchase decisions
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